Coping with Covid

Hello, all you fellow readers,

No, I don’t have Covid. I just have been personally traumatized by Covid. This is my story.

I am utterly embarrassed by my lack of writing. Moreover, I am embarrassed at my lack of WANTING to write. I have about 10 drafts sitting in the post section of my blog that I just haven’t been able to bring myself to FINISH.

Sure, I have done my fair share of pushing out little snippets of our lives in Raising Rural social media. However, the written word has left me utterly uninspired. My last post was 7 months ago, right when we were in the thick of things with COVID 19. I thought for sure we’d be back to normal by now and my mood and life would be on the up and up and there would be plenty to write about. Here we are almost SEVEN MONTHS later and our area is experiencing major spikes in cases. We are nowhere near back to normal. In fact, I figure things are about to get much worse.

Back when quarantine started, I was excited about the change of pace and did a lot of nothing. I stopped exercising, started lying around and eating plenty of late-night snacks. (What else was there to look forward to?) It’s not surprising when I started noticing a dip in my mood, crappy self-confidence, and a rise in anxiety. Given my profession, I know all the coping mechanisms and am very aware of my old standbys. Usually, (pre-covid) my mental health game was pretty strong. SO, I started running again. I made better choices with food. I changed some bad habits and I saw my mood improve.

Cut to October 2020 I am still following all of those same habits. Our return to school, the challenges that we’ve faced trying to work and raise kids during Covid, and seeing no light at the end of the tunnel have shaken my world up again. I found myself clapping back at people for minor infractions, being distracted, isolating myself, stress eating and shopping, and lacking motivation. SO I am back to the drawing board. I have been doing alllllll of the things. All of them. I am trying so hard to make sure my mental health and mood stay steady. I am still running, still taking time for myself, eating well, and sleeping more. AND yet, even though I have deployed all the methods and tried all the tricks, I feel off.

I wish I knew what was going on. Maybe I have Seasonal Affective Disorder and need to re-up on Vitamin D daily. Maybe my hormones are out of whack. My bestie thinks I have “Notripphobia”, which is the fear of not having a trip booked.

Earlier this week, I was vulnerable and pushed out a story to my Instagram about how I was struggling with anxiety and an overall low mood. I was telling people that I was going to try some over-the-counter products to see if that could boost my mood. (Side note: It’s my personal opinion that you should not use meds/products as a cure-all or as the first step on a journey to wellness. Adjusting other areas of your life, learning coping mechanisms, and finding a counselor, might make a huge difference in your mood and anxiety.) Yet, I am here to tell you that trying some over-the-counter products IS step 27 for me. Fingers crossed. Even if it doesn’t work, I’m going to keep trying until I come through on the other side.

The last thing I just thought of to try to help me breakthrough was writing. Which is why you are seeing this post today. It finally occurred to me why I have not wanted to write. My mind was stuck in the negative thought pattern that I didn’t have anything to say when, in actuality, the catharsis of writing just might have helped me feel better.

If this doesn’t work. I am definitely booking a trip.

Love,

Stef

P.S. If this is how I am feeling, right now, then I know I am not alone. I know there are many of you who are feeling the same. I worry about our students who we do not get to see very often and about parents who are struggling to juggle all of this. I recently went to a leadership seminar with some people from Las Vegas. Their schools are all remote and their county has seen a dramatic rise in suicide. This made me worry even more. If you find yourself struggling, please keep going. Keep trying. Change up a routine. Find someone to talk to. Work on fitting in exercise to your daily routine. Make sure you sleep. Eat well. Try seeing a therapist. Take time for yourself. Do something that makes you happy. Book a trip. Just. Keep. Going. This will end.