2022: The Year of Yes

Why I am boycotting “No Spend January”

January is approaching and I usually do a “No Spending Challenge” for myself and others. I usually post about what we spend and budget for the month. This usually comes in answer to a truly magical month (or who am I kidding….. A couple of months) where we spent what we wanted and didn’t budget as closely as we should have.

But I am not feeling it this year. 

2021 was not my best year. In fact, I downright hated parts of it. Even typing those words makes me feel like the worst human being because I feel ungrateful. I literally am blessed more than I deserve, yet I am sitting here talking about how 2021 was total trash. 

If I thought 2020 was bad and the start of a pandemic was going to break me, 2021 came along to show me just how dramatic I was.

We are fine. We are healthy and nothing drastic has happened. So why do I have this overwhelming feeling of dread when I think of 2021?  First, my family lost two people we were close to, I got covid, and a couple of unfortunate things happened at my job that made me cry a lot and think about not returning. To be honest, I am not sure what the future holds career-wise for me. (And none of those things were the fault of the people I work for.)  Coupled with a less than stellar attitude at the start of the year, I can’t seem to be on even footing anywhere. I constantly feel like our children (all kids) are getting the short end of the stick and for the life of me can not see how these two years (and more) will not have a negative impact on them socially, academically, and mentally. Sometimes it feels suffocating. 

Here is what I know. I used to be a person who was positive. Overly positive. Annoyingly positive. And I feel like that has changed, which honestly pisses me off. I also would tell people that “You choose your weather.” While that may be so, some days I struggle to find the sun. 

Pre-pandemic, I knew how many things that my kids were able to do and experience and I made sure that I gave them small doses of reality. I made sure that I did not orchestrate things for them to be just “so”. I was okay when things did not go their way or they were disappointed and I helped them navigate it to help prepare them for the future. I was not in the business of making things more magical for them. 

I used to be so annoyed by parents in my age group and the ways they were helicopter parents, truly intervening in the most inane situations to make sure their child’s every whim was taken care of. For example, complaining that their child did not get the coveted choice of colored frosting cupcake and specialty ring during a classroom birthday party. You probably think I am kidding. This is no exaggeration. I’ve always thought about the child who sat in that classroom that didn’t get supper the night before and was over the moon to even GET a cupcake, no matter the color and ring choice. I remember thinking when talking to any parent who was upset over trivial things, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME? DO YOU THINK THAT MATTERS?”

I was the one at the beginning of the pandemic who helped parents think past all that their Juniors and Seniors were missing while we canceled everything and made drastic changes for the safety of everyone. Flatten the curve. This will all be over soon. 

I was wrong. Here we are almost 2 years later and it’s not over. This pandemic is not going to be over anytime soon. Don’t talk to me about science. I trust science. I DO NOT TRUST what is being reported on science. ON EITHER SIDE.  

We are not getting accurate information and we are so stuck on what we believe to be true we are literally fighting people that we know and love because they might not think the way that we do. This is our climate. This is our situation. We are all barely hanging on and our children are watching. I feel like my kids are not getting the best of me. 

I do not want anyone to get sick. I do not want anyone to die. 

And here I am a 38-year-old Mom, living a life I LOVE, but also I am seriously concerned for my mental health. How does that even make sense? Is it normal to be happy with my life, but so unhappy and uncertain with our current life outlook?

AND my brain is pretty practiced and experienced. I would say it was pretty healthy for 37 years of my life.  But my kids? Your kids? The ones whose brains are not fully functioning? The ones who have not reached formal reasoning? How has this pandemic changed their malleable brains?  How has this pandemic caused damage we might not fully realize for years to come? 

Ugh. I feel like this covid hysteria is short-sighted in relation to the needs of our young people and their mental health. It is okay if you disagree. 

I am scared to death that my youngest children will never like school again. I fear the implications this could have for them. I am worried about them and all of your kids too. Socially, our children are more isolated than ever. I am petrified that I will get a phone call about one of my students one day who took a drastic measure. I can not even type it or speak it, it’s too much to put into words.

Again, I do not want anyone to get sick. I do not want anyone to die. From COVID, or from any means. 

BUT, I have had my fill of restrictions. I can not fit one more limit, one more worry in my life right now. I’ll still budget and for the most part, I’m going to try to live below our means. But No Spend January? I am jumping ship. No more cutting out the fun. Not right now. Not for the foreseeable future.

Sure there are things I could be doing with our extra income. We could double down on retirement savings. We could up our extra payments to pay off our house and complete Baby Step 6. We could take any extra and throw it into college savings plans. We could save up cash for our next vehicle or any other big purchase we might have to make in the next 5-10 years. But I don’t want to. It is not my priority right now. 

I also can’t commit to being a Positive Polly. You want to complain about a small slight you feel like your kid got at school? Same. You want to make it rain by buying something frivolous for your child to bring joy? Same. You want to lament about how so many things have changed/been taken away from them? Same. You want to tell me how your child didn’t get a blue cupcake and it made them sad and in turn, it made you sad? Same. You want to go on trips and spend time together instead of staying home? Same. Do what is right for you and your family. I do not stand in a place where I can judge anyone, for anything. 

Instead of saying no, I am saying yes. A LOT. So, no “No Spend January” from me right now. It does not align with my values at this time. 

Love, 

Me