Here is the thing people. I like Rachel Hollis. I maybe more than like her. Her stuff is inspiring and I like to be inspired. But sometimes Rachel Hollis is a little too, “I’m Rachel Hollis and my life is amazing” for me to relate. (Don’t know who the heck I am talking about? You may be living under a rock and here is a little background for you. I dug it up special for you, straight from Wikipedia.)
BE LIKE RACH
I read Rachel’s first book “Girl, Wash Your Face” and related SOOOO much to it. I have been a fan for a little bit. I follow her in Insta. I own her book and her start today journal. She is a rock star in many ways and her content is geared to the average woman who wants to make her dreams come true, whatever they may be. Her content is pure gold. She’s real. Real cute. Real relatable. Real down to earth.
EYE ROLL CITY
And then this week, I saw a social media post that kind of had me like, “What the heck, Rach? and maybe a little”Meh,” with a double side of eye roll. MAYBE you saw it and it didn’t ruffle your feathers. Maybe you saw it and because you were in a different place in your life, you didn’t think another thing about it.
Here’s her post.
It’s a picture of her and her husband. Nothing offensive here right? And then the caption reads that they are in Hawaii. (Me: Dang, I’m jelly.) But there are no cool pics to show. (Me: Bummer.) They haven’t done anything this trip except stay in their jammies and remind themselves about how they are best friends (Me: Oh, come on now. Really, Rachel? You lost me here. I was feeling the humble brag for a minute, but it’s gone. You seriously traveled to Hawaii, a 13 hour flight mind you, so that you could get a hotel room, stay inside, listen to music, and reconnect?)
WHY I’M SALTY
But ME? Well, I just got off a ridiculously paced week where my husband was on a work trip. I got little to no sleep and am smack dab in the middle of MAYhem, at home and school, where we run ragged and most people legit treat me like it was inconvenient for me to have a birthday when we are all so busy.
I wish I could say that Shawn comes home from a trip and I unwind and all is lovely again. After a particularly busy period, I am straight up tightly wound for a good three or four days and it’s not terribly hard to piss me off until I UNWIND. (Yes, as I write this I can see how hard it is to be married to me.)
Shawn asked me on the phone, while he was in the airport what I might want for my birthday and seemed a little put out that I couldn’t come up with something that could he could Amazon Prime to our house by the time the big day arrived. I was a little put out by his effort.
Then on my birthday, Shawn handed me “Girl, Stop Apologizing,” Rachel’s latest book for my gift. I haven’t even cracked the cover because of how she did me dirty. After work, he went to a fundraising event that he REALLY needed to be at. Insert, eye roll. He’s trying to be everything to everyone and sometimes I can feel like I am on the back burner.
So, yeah, I might have been acting like a 16-year-old but I saw her post, rolled my eyes, and thought, “I can’t even get my husband to take me out to eat on my birthday, much less to HAWAII to wear matching robes to RECONNECT. And just where are the four kids they supposedly have? Didn’t they just go to Hawaii? I’d settle for a MOTEL 8 or even my BACK PORCH to unwind with a 10 dollar bottle of wine for two hours.
I AM NOT RACHEL HOLLIS
So yeah, my kids forgot my birthday. Yes, I had to work all week and double down because I was on my own. Yeah, I don’t get enough time to reconnect with my husband like I’d like to or spend my birthday in a snazzy location. But, to keep myself from slipping off the ledge I have to remind myself that SMALL MOMENTS DO NOT MAKE THE WOMAN.
Yes, I was hella jealous of her for a quick minute (or four days, same difference). Petty? Yes. But I knew I could get myself out of it. So in case you ever go through anything like this, when you realize you are NOT _______ (insert celebrity here) try the following so that you can cope.
1. Put It in Perspective: Social media is made up of 10% someone’s life and they only show the good things. Social media is made for aesthetics. Period. When you start to feel less than, it is time to step away from social media for a bit. I don’t post all the awful things about my life (but you will see some not great parts on this blog, but you get the point).
2. Be Happy to Be YOU: Yeah, her life is flashy, but I don’t want to be Rachel Hollis or anyone else. I bet she doesn’t get much privacy. I sure as heck don’t want to live in Texas, I’d melt. I can’t live without sweets and simple carbs and would be sad if I had to. I like being tall, too. (so take that Rachel!) We are all originals and I like my weird self. What do you love about your self?
3. Be Positive Polly: When I get all messed up in the head, I have to think about the ridiculous life that I am so lucky to live. My blessings abound and I am grateful for it. I remember all the amazing things I HAVE done or have gotten to do. For example, I remembered one time when Shawn was trying to get me to marry him and he planned an amazing trip and my whole mood brightened. (On the other hand, he’s pulled a classic bait and switch, because, after thirteen years of marriage, I had to practically beg him to plan a birthday dinner out.) My family is amazing and my friends are the next level. I legit think Rachel Hollis might want to be ME if she knew the caliber of friends I have. What can you find to be positive about?
4. Find the Humor: Sarcasm really is the best medicine. At least for me. Which is why writing this whole piece has been so cathartic. When I am a little agitated by something, I use sarcasm and humor to bring it up, Being a counselor, humor is one of my favorite ways to relieve the tension in the room when someone is upset. It’s a great tool. I find ways to laugh when I am feeling yucky. Instead of getting stuck in it, I make myself do something silly, like jump on the trampoline, dance in the kitchen, or foot races with my kids. I just can’t help but laugh. When I am upset and Shawn needs a way out fast, he knows that making me laugh is his best bet. What can you do to laugh about the situation?
5. Last Resort: If all else fails, pour yourself a glass of wine, park yourself in front of your favorite Netflix show to binge-watch, and take some time for yourself.
You are doing amazing, you got this, and if you ever get to go to Hawaii, and spend a couple of days with your hubby while someone else takes care of your kids, and you never leave your hotel room, and wear matching robes while listening to Bob Marley, good on you. But maybe don’t post about it so the rest of us can sleep in blissful ignorance.
xoxo,
Stef